That's the way the cook crumbles...

Things have settled down, or rather I have realize I cannot control the universe only myself. Sometimes it is enough to know I think I know what is going on rather than to actually know.

'A' has decided not to combine a career in stripping with tending the minds of developing generations; instead she will try for a financial award from the university coffer pot. 

'E' is much the same as usual school run, Tesco shop, school gate edginess. Not much changes when you have kids, an alien could land in your back garden and you'd still be worrying if the kids had clean t-shirts for school and if there was enough toilet rolls to last until Monday. It just how it is, after tending house for over sixteen years, you tend to do everything on auto. Be that washing up, loading the insatiable beast that is your  washing machine. It's funny how no matter how much I feed it son number 1 always manages to find another load that he keeps stashed just to keep me occupied. After 'it's my job' as he is fond of reminding me,'it's what the state pays me for' seeing as his father refuses to lift a finger. The irony is lost and his sweet 15 years and I long ago gave up trying to explain how I've held up my part of the bargain that is called MARRIAGE.

Anyway thinking of the father has lead me into a spiral that can only ever go downwards into a pit of bitterness and twisted logic. I mean when he wants an divorce it has to be on his grounds ie my so called 'infidelity' ( does really think I have time to seduce the whole neighbourhood and slavishly tend our broods every whim?

But when I want a divorce citing 'unreasonable' behaviour and 'irretrievable breakdown' then he doesn't want a divorce. It has to be one of the longest running divorce sagas seen by the local solicitors office and I fear that they are milking it for all it's worth. Problem is I'm running out of solicitors office and will soon have to take this out of town. Until then I guess I will try to keep the piece on access visits. One of which was scheduled for next Tuesday; as he has decide to make himself totally unavailable by anything other than email and that is accessed at the library communication doesn't flow as well as it could , so I shall have to see how that goes.

This week I have been fixing up my return to university to complete one part of my final year. I met a guy who could really help, I didn't just bump into this  guy 'L' ; more like emailed him repeatedly nearly 3 months ago to fix up this appointment. I good at backing people into corners where they can't refuse only it seems that the time scale ids all wrong for L and I might not be able to work for him until next year. This means finding a new contact to help me finish my course placement in 10 weeks. This wouldn't be so bad only the arts in a relatively small area i the scheme of thing something you tend to forget when you're in deep. So I find myself talking people from the same agencies and sometimes same departments; which can be tricky. After all if you speak to someone you were at uni with 4 years ago and they offer to help then you find that you've already spoken to their boss it can be awkward. Luckily I try to remember the saying that, 

     'the people you meet on the way up are the same people you meet on the way down'

I try to keep on friendly terms with everyone which reminds me of another saying,

  ' you can please some of the people some of the time but not all the people al  the time'

Some people I'm never going to please but hey that's the way the cooky crumbles..