How weird...

Almost a month since my last post and what a time I had of it. I've applied for nearly every job that I'm even remotely capable of doing plus a few just to keep the nice people at the DWP happy - after all am I ever really going to jump into a proofeader/subeditor role without eons of experience and or the sort of figure and youthful ovaries of a women half my age age ? I ask you?

Not that I'm getting cynical or anything I've not fit to wipe up after or do any of the multitude of other things required of a care work of the elderly(the wipe up thing is the main point that everyone seems to focus on when asking what I'm doing to look for work. Assuming that everyone over 60 must of course need assisting in that department, especially my own mother who was 60 this year)Hasn't anybody heard of latex gloves ? or is that just too clinical ? Am I being over sensitive ? Or would some older person prefer I wear gloves before buttering their toast and moving on to rubbing some cream on someone's legs ?

No, my hunt, it has long since moved on from a search and has now assumed the seriousness of an all together more primal hunt for a job continues. After all who wouldn't what a 40+ neurotic, with 3 kids ALL at difficult ages(is there any other?) a hovering EX and two spooked cats on the pay roll?

So aside from the hunt, I find myself making applications on the same site as son No1 for Post Grad courses. This feels strange as the reality of him choosing a uni means a) he could leave home next year b) we both might be doing courses at similar unis c)I'M NOT READY FOR THIS.

It has to happen some time so I reckon if I keep myself busy enough , I might not notice how much time has sped along. I still feel vaguely similar to how I did in my late 20s but every time I look in the mirror, I know that's no so. Baby reminds me every day that she is growing as I diminish and though I don't mind one bit the fact that I'm so aware of it makes me wonder if I am at all ready for the next phase of my life.

Baby's doing fine(I think) both at school and in her social development. She has a fine line in sarcasm and put downs,
Quote - Your hair's really grey and you're so old fashioned. Your getting wrinkles too.
And a good eye for detail, so I think she'll be okay !

Son No2 hasn't sunk any further into a life of crime and drug addled despair and I think he has glimpsed the end of the compulsory education tunnel that seemed never ending last summer. Maybe helped along by discussing the next 9 months in terms of 36 weeks with lots of little markers along the way, holiday, Halloween, bonfire, birthday, Christmas, MOPED, new year, spring, COLLEGES, finish, EXAMS. I'm trying to give him more responsibility too , his own key, no curfew, helping out as and when I can. So far - so good, it's only been 3 weeks but after last term this is quite a stretch on the good behaviour front so fingers crossed.

Well, It's Wednesday and mid week milestone that has been conquered so it's time to crack open a bottle of something alcoholic and relax further into the decline

CHIN CHIN !