Gosh it's been almost a year to the day since I last wrote and it's been an odd sort of year come to think of it,
* I've been working part time job in a care home for the last 10 months
* Son No 1 is in 2nd year of uni
*Son No 2 has started an apprenticeship
* Baby is well.. a the size of a full grown woman
* The old man remains reliably the same... neither use nor anything else
* Financially I'm staring into the abyss
* and finally I realise theres not much I can do to control any of the above. ( Unless I count using my degree to get a better paid job that takes me away from the home)
I''ve just been offered a quarter bottle of whiskey by my 17 yr old who's off to a 6th Form party (remember those?). It makes me feel old which is why I decided to write today. There seeems to be a distinct lack of advice concerning the transition onto 'OLD'.
One minute you're a yummy mummy, still trendy, still able to pull admiring glances from young men who recently know better; the next you're fighting the battle to keep grey hairs at bay and have grown a second skin consisting of flab and cellulite. Everyone celebrates turning 40 as if it's a great mile stone worthy of parties, special cards and even trips abroad. Hit 41 and the party is most definitely by invite only and even then it tends to consist of a damp squib of an affair conducted in atmosphere that would once have seemed lame.
By 45 well you may as well fade into the wood work and assume the pace and dignity of a retired bowler. Anything less and you risk becoming a laughing stock. It's just not bloody fair.
The kids have decided that facebook is for their generation (not that we were 'friends' anyway) and have most probably deleted my account. The old man has became more of an old fart who displays non of the virility and otherness that was so attractive over 20 yrs ago and who can blame him. Where as once our bones were a source of worry and delight they now lie dead and buried under too many rich meals and glasses of the good stuff.
Nevermind we'll soon be pensioners and unable to afford a tin of soup never mind a rich meal and vino our stomach will point blank refuse to digest. Once again the sexy bits that we once revered and worshippped at will be uncovered - only it will all be too much effort to attempt to do what we used to; I want to grow old gracefully because I choose to, not because anything else would be undignified and probably physically impossible!
I still habour dreams of writing more than the odd post on the blog but so do hundreds of others - I still dream about the perfect life style with fancy house and car, a figure to die for and an old man that still turns me on. Maybe this time next year I'll have more to report because one thing is for sure I've never been one to do the same thing forever and forever is fast running out !
